We talked a lot about the mind's "negativity bias" in my recent training in the Netherlands. I wanted to write a little about it here. We did a lot of work playing with opposites as well. The yogis call this Pratipakshabhavanam. When you have a negative thought, take a moment and hold the exact opposite thought in your mind. Notice what happens. Stay present. Sit with both thoughts for a moment. How does the first thought feel in your body? How does the opposite thought feel in your body? Go back and forth. When you do this you will recalibrate and might break a pattern or get out of a rut or groove that your mind is stuck in. Try holding both thoughts at the same time. What if both thoughts were equally true?
The yogis would say the mind is constantly "falling down". It is why the mind is rarely satisfied if we search for satisfaction through the senses, in the world.
Yoga is this shift of perspective, from identifying with the body, mind, and thoughts and all the changing elements of nature and turning inward to experience the part of ourselves that is unchanging, pure Consciousness and pure Awareness, and ultimately realizing that everything is emanating from this place of pure Consciousness and pure Awareness.
Turning inward is one way to think of it but it's really a shift of perspective so that you realize, see, and experience yourself as unchanging Being, pure Consciousness, and pure Awareness.
When we have this experience of ourselves we realize that we are limitless, timeless, formless -- connected to everything and everyone, and we experience ourselves as everywhere and nowhere at the same time, beyond space and time, without boundary.
Yet, at the same time, we all know that we are separate, we are embodied Consciousness, we are an individual with a body, mind, thoughts, boundaries and limits, and ideas and beliefs.
It is this paradox that yoga helps us to understand.
You are the both the wave and you are the water in the ocean.
It's been wonderful to see so many acts of kindness over the past few weeks. So many people are stepping up and helping each other during this challenging time.
There's always going to be a few people that are not good at sitting with the unknown. I'm glad there's been so many positives coming out of this very challenging time.
We've also seen some negative things. Some people hoarding food and supplies. Some even trying to sell them and profit from this crisis. I've personally witnessed some interesting behavior.
I'm grateful that most of what I've experienced has been positive so far. Lots of friends and family reaching out. Lots of reconnections. Thank you for all your kind words about our classes last week and for being so understanding as we had some technical glitches and some of you weren't able to take class live with me.
I wanted to share a few of the negative experiences I've had with interactions this past week and maybe they can become learning opportunities for all of us, myself included.
A longtime friend messaged me in a group chat last week about a rumor they had heard from a friend -- about how taking some medications might limit the bodies ability to fight the coronavirus. There were no facts. Just a group email with a lot of fear and anecdotal information and advice. I responded that maybe it was best to look at the W.H.O. website and not spread these kinds of rumors or send out these kinds of group messages?
Another friend on Facebook lashed out at me for offering my zoom classes -- confused and angry, even swearing in their comments -- thinking that I was promoting an "in real life" yoga class instead of an online class, and warning me of a huge backlash, asking what was wrong with me, and telling me to "wake up" with a few colorful expletives thrown in. I tried to encourage this person to read the post a little more thoroughly and look at the previous posts regarding my online classes but this only enraged this person even more.
Another student messaged me demanding that I eliminate the registration requirement for my classes and went on a bizarre rant telling me not to offer classes for housewives at this time. I'm not sure why this woman was angry with housewives and stay at home moms? The rant was so insulting, self absorbed and self serving I thought it was best to not even respond.
To be honest, my first thought was to judge each of these people and I felt angry at them but then I took a moment and sat with that anger. I tried to welcome in what I was feeling in that moment and sit with it without responding instead of just reacting myself and perpetuating the cycle. I tried to hold the opposite thought. I also reminded myself that everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools they have.
The person who sent the group message was just trying to help people and thought she was doing the right thing passing on this information she had heard from a friend who had heard from another friend.
The person who lashed out about the classes was probably reacting to all the reports of people not practicing social distancing and just wanted us to all comply and help stop the spread of the outbreak.
The student who went on the bizarre rant was just overwhelmed and out of balance, working at a challenging time and resenting others who might not be on the front lines or who didn't have to continue to work in an essential service.
When I looked at these situations through the opposite lens I wasn't angry at any of these people. It was easy to have compassion for them.
I thought it was best to respond to the first person and encourage her not to spread rumors at this time, although I think I probably reacted a little too.
I responded to the second person and told him that we were doing online classes and I think he must have not read my post correctly. He continued to engage and I decided to just drop it. Maybe it was best to just unfriend him. I don't even know how we knew each other except on Facebook.
The third person I decided not to respond to at all. I could feel myself wanting to lecture her or react and I really just wanted to sit with this for a long time and then felt more sad and eventually some compassion and there was no need to reply and offer anything.
Sometimes, it's best to just listen and let people release tension. Sometimes they need to rant and get something off their chest. Sometimes it's best to not engage at all and just walk away.
Try to focus on the positive today and this week. It's not always easy. It helps if you focus on helping others or being of service. Take a moment today and check in on someone. Maybe they are overwhelmed. See how they are doing. See if they need help. Practice listening. Maybe that's all someone in your life needs right now.
Notice your own negativity bias and how the mind is always falling down. It takes active practice to lift the mind up. Notice when you are judging and criticizing others and see if you could practice compassion and kindness instead. I'm doing my best to work on this as well. Remind yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can with the tools that they have.
Stay safe! Stay healthy! Lots of love to all of you!
Here's some pics from my last days in the Netherlands while I was out on a bicycle there. Seems like a lifetime ago. Utrecht is such a beautiful city. I went out for several bicycle rides the last two days before I left. The city was empty. It was calm, peaceful. It was beautiful.
Look forward to practicing with you this week!
Did you try my plank pose competition? I did a 6 min hold yesterday. Give it a shot. See how it goes. Doesn't matter how long you can hold. Just for fun. So we can inspire each other. Lift each other up. Namaste
